Aside

last week the palliative nurse came. She hadnt seen me for three months. She was impressed with how well I was looking. I was delighted. Then I saw dentist and he was struck by how good my gums were. delighted again! You know I have great care. Nat ‘s healing hands massaging and stretching out my muscles, jenny’s lovely cooking, ana ‘s sense of fun, laura ‘s breakfasts, and the amazing home carers who get me up showered and dressed on a daily basis. Without my team of outside helpers as in the theme tune for ‘scrubs’ goes ‘i cant do this all on my own, I’m no superman ‘. Same goes for me. [did I mention how much I enjoy scrubs? Get a daily dose on netflix! ]
of course I must mention the support I get from family and friends. I was telling jay recently how I feel carried by the thoughts and prayers of other people. Home life has improved dramatically too recently. Something has moved or shifted in me [hence shape shifting emma] recently that has me in a much better place thank god. I can feel a sense of deep peace and a sense of happiness unlike anything before. It must have something to do with listening to the wonderful and truely inspirational thich nhat hanh every morning. listening to his voice calms me his words inspire me. This buddhist monk from vietnam has played a major part in my spiritual life now for over a decade. His message is all about living mindfully in the present moment. This message is very helpful to me especially in my present state of health. I give thanks for each new morning that arises and try to spread it into every moment of every day. I love my husband and kids more than ever as I have the strength to look outside my own pain and feel compassion and love. I can see what an amazing job jay is doing as opposed to critisising his every move. I see him loading the dishwasher and washing machine of a Sunday! and getting kids ready for a party in clothes I wouldn’t have chosen. I have learnt that these small things don’t really matter in the greater picture. Stepping back and not allowing myself to get irritated by his actions has been hugely rewarding. Cant help thinking of that deeply wise phrase that my mum has been saying for years ‘let go and let god ‘
to finish another fabulous quote from cousin nickey

‘the truth will set you free. but first it will piss you off.”

Gloria Steinem

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Sunday 21st 2012

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3 responses »

  1. Hi Emma,
    I too, am so thankful for the wise, gentle words of Thich Nhat Hanh and other teachers.They are true spiritual guides to me and their words transform my view (and my life!).
    But you are my inspiration…your incredible spirit gives me strength and connects me with that higher love, that deep joy.
    Amazing weather here the last few days.. incredible colours of changing leaves against a blue, blue sky.. tried to post a picture here but I couldn’t .. but here’s a verse of an e.e.cummings poems that captures it and also how I felt after reading your uplifting post:

    “i thank You God for most this amazing
    day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
    and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
    which is natural which is infinite which is yes”

    Love Always,
    Nick xooxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxo

  2. …..Another fabulous piece & image Star! I can’t believe that Friday week we will be sailing back to you!
    I will still be dying to read your blog every week but feel so happy & excited that in the days while waiting, I’ll have the pleasure of hanging out with you FOR REAL!!!
    BRING IT ON!!

    a tres bientot,
    Dol xoxoxoxox

  3. Oh cousins, you all inspire me! Emma, I was so happy to read your post and hear how you are feeling. I have just returned from a few days in Wedmore with Mum and Dad and was telling Dad about your blog which I have let him have the link for so that he can keep in touch with you too.
    I feel that I should follow in your and Nicky’s footsteps and be guided by some more spiritual words to help make sense of it all and will explore Thich Nhat Hanh.
    Thanks for sharing all of your own wonderful spiritual insights too, it really inspires all of us!
    Tons of love, and look forward to seeing you in Kinsale soon!
    Rach xxxxxxx

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