Aside

 

Last week the palliative nurse came. She hadn’t seen me for three months. She was impressed with how well I was looking. I was delighted. Then I saw dentist and he was struck by how good my gums were. Delighted again! You know I have great care. Nat ‘s healing hands massaging and stretching out my muscles, Jenny’s lovely cooking, Ana’s sense of fun, Laura’s breakfasts, and the amazing home-helps who get me up showered and dressed on a daily basis. Without my team of outside helpers as the theme tune for ‘Scrubs’ goes ‘i can’t do this all on my own, I’m no superman ‘. Same goes for me. [did I mention how much I enjoy Scrubs? Get a daily dose on Netflix! ]
Of course I must mention the support I get from family and friends. I was telling Jay recently how I feel carried by the thoughts and prayers of other people. Home life has improved dramatically too recently. Something has moved or shifted in me (hence: “Shape Shifting Emma”) recently that has me in a much better place thank God. I can feel a sense of deep peace and a sense of happiness unlike anything before. It must have something to do with listening to the wonderful and truly inspirational Thich Nhat Hanh every morning. Listening to his voice calms me, his words inspire me. This Buddhist monk from Vietnam has played a major part in my spiritual life now for over a decade. His message is all about living mindfully in the present moment. This message is very helpful to me especially in my present state of health. I give thanks for each new morning that arises and try to spread it into every moment of every day. I love my husband and kids more than ever as I have the strength to look outside my own pain and feel compassion and love. I can see what an amazing job Jay is doing as opposed to critisising his every move. I see him loading the dishwasher and washing machine of a Sunday! And getting kids ready for a party in clothes I wouldn’t have chosen. I have learnt that these small things don’t really matter in the greater picture. Stepping back and not allowing myself to get irritated by his actions has been hugely rewarding. Can’t help thinking of that deeply wise phrase that my mum has been saying for years ‘let go and let god’.
To finish another fabulous quote from cousin Nickey: ‘the truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off.’ Gloria Steinem. Love it and know it so well! 

Sunday  21st 2012

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7 responses »

  1. great stuff, Emma: gloria steinem nailed it.
    btw, u might keep a look out for ‘beasts of the southern wild’ on netflix (if it is on there)… just saw it with Joyce and loved it.

  2. Sounds like you have a wonderful crew around you Em, positive enery radiates through your uplifting words. Lyrics from one of my favourite songs spring to mind, Christie Moore, Voyage… ‘ when we started the voyage there was just me and you, now gathered around us we have our own crew’

    Again thank you for sharing your thoughts.
    Love Suz xx

  3. Hi Emma,

    Maria Garvey here – I’ve now got a new teacher in you. I LOVE THAT! Thanks for living what you do so that you can speak as you do so that I can hear as I do. Belfast will be different because I am here made a little different by you today! Ta!!!

    P.S. When I went to L’Arche in the beginning I was sure that socks had to come out of the washing machine in pairs. Now I don’t have the time or the inclination to sweat the small stuff so I celebrate the creativity of those who wear odd socks!

  4. Emma,

    Your are the inspiration. Your strength and coping mechanism are nothing but overwhelming and I don’t doubt the frustration and torment you have endured to get to where you are. Enjoy and absorb every precious moment the happiness you see at home every day, because you made that happen. Your a star Emma, we’re barely trotting Behind you, xx
    Geraldine

  5. I love this post Emma because I hate being away from you and I often find my self wondering how you are. I love that you are fine (mostly :D). I am gonna take some of that recipe and use it. Love ya pet xxx

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