Monthly Archives: December 2012

December 15th

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I have been feeling low this week but have only understood why this is
in hind sight. A lot of equipment has arrived recently and it
represents change and deterioration as far as I’m concerned. A hoist
that looks like a crane (Willie O’Brien Cranes -“if you can’t lift it we will shift it” … eat your heart out!) is used
now to lift me from my cosy bed every morning. We actually have a
laugh with my fabulous carers. If I didn’t I’d be in tears!
Secondly, a new wheelchair arrived from the IMNDA (Irish Motor Neuron
Association) which is black and awful looking. I wonder why the
necessary equipment often looks so drab. Why can’t the chair be bright red or cerise pink I ask myself. However, it is the most
comfortable chair in the house now with the added bonus that I can be
pushed around our home with minimum difficulty to join in on family
activity whenever I want. Prior to this, I was stuck in a corner where
movement wasn’t easy.
The IMNDA have been such a huge support from day one. Though its hard
to say for obvious reasons, I’m really grateful for their continued
assistance.
So the new hoist and wheelchair came this week and moved me from my comfort zone. But I accept them now as things invoking more freedom. Especially the chair.
I was thinking about the ‘lowness’ of last week again and yes it’s the
time of year when mothers especially get thrown into the rollercoaster
of Christmas. It’s such a busy time.
As for that cloud it will pass. It always does.

Kitty said something fabulous this morning while attaching, in an
official manor, a sticker full of kisses and hugs to my jumper, “Mummy, you
have to hug and kiss all the time because you are the Captain of
Love”.
I am eternally grateful to my body for giving me two wonderful
children who are full of such joy and inspiration every day!
Then she wrote it down for me:

20121216-092318 PM.jpg

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December 9th

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‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’ so ended my last post. One of my lovely sisters-in-law replied by suggesting not to give the infamous ‘dribbles’ too much energy, as a means of changing the way I look at them. I took the advice and got on with life and they became less of an issue.
So thanks Gill!

My kids often come in on a cold and wintery school morning for a toasty warm snuggle. Sometimes we have a little chat Last Friday morning Ro came out with another classic: “I suppose there’s one good thing about being weak: you don’t have to go to work!”, well I laughed! That’s certainly focusing on the positive!

Otherwise, I have had a fairly flat week. By flat I mean feeling a bit low in myself. Sometimes I just can’t believe this is happening me. I get scared. Today I feel like the donkey in the Sminky Shorts film “I can’t do it”. everything just seems too hard. Tears need to fall.