A version I love of the classic song.
I found myself in a church in Blackrock the other night at a removal. My neighbour ‘s mum had suddenly passed away after a massive heart attack, it’s so sad and unfortunate for those left behind. The church had a lived in feeling, a lovely sense of life about it. I couldn’t hold back the tears when I saw the coffin and distraught family members following it down the isle. My heart was breaking for poor Annemarie. I remembered my own Dad’s funeral fourteen years ago and how sad everybody felt at his too, sudden departure.
The priest said something about guardian angels that touched me. I thought about Jonnie as my angel and how lucky I am to have him here especially now in my hour of need.
No matter how unfortunate my life situation is right now, I find it hugely helpful to give thanks for all. Family, friends, neighbours, carers, home helps, Jonnie’s job which he loves and all that I am able to do.
Every two weeks a lady called Ann comes to do energy work on me. Its’ official name is bio energy and it involves scanning the body’s subtle energies or aura and seeing where its blocked. She works with the chakras too, again seeing if they’re imbalanced and then putting them right. I believe this to be really helpful. When living in France in my twenties I also practiced this kind of energy work. I remember living in a rural part of the Pyrenees where no other Irish person had lived before it seemed. Apart from dedicating the best part of every day to painting and making intricate collages myself and a friend also did this kind of energy work on the locals. I remember one elderly ‘paysan’ Francois getting attacked by a swarm of bees, his hands all swollen and sore. I put my hands over them and wished them well. He seemed to get instant relief and the following day, I was his absolute hero as he said I had cured him! My prize was part of a wild mountain boar to cook and a gallon of red wine! When I think of that I only wish I could cure myself now!
Saw the film ‘Gravity’ the other night. I really thought it beautifully shot and directed. When the female lead touches earth at the end I deeply felt her relief and love of being able to feel sand on her toes again. Oh how I long for that feeling!
I was wondering about how I was doing this time last year and both Jonnie and Mum reassured me I appear stronger and more content. There’s truth in their observations as I feel more able to cope and I recognize my limits with tiredness before they get out of hand and the whole house is affected. Yikes when that happens!
Jonnie did a fabulous job of the turkey and ham thanks to some youtube advice from Gordon Ramsey early Christmas morning. Lucy did fabulous veggies,Tomas made heavenly sherry trifle and Mum laid a beautiful table. The kids were delighted with their seemingly endless amount of presents and the day flowed with the usual sense of hibernation that only this day brings.
Being stuck in a wheelchair without use of hands or speech is such a challenge as a mother. A fellow sufferer who I’ve been in contact with described it as “raw grief “. Not being able to wrap a present or unwrap one for that matter, or share the joy spontaneously with the kids early Christmas morning is a bummer. However, without dwelling too much on what I cant do, I am often spontaneously surprised by joy too. Kitty, for the second year running, came into my room with a present for me to open after she opened her first one. Her thoughtfulness is something I ‘m so proud of, she’s such a wonderful little girl. We get to snuggle sometimes at night too if she sleeps downstairs. She puts her little hand in mine and I lift my leg to make way for hers. Then she seranades me with songs and one sided chat. How I wish my voice was alive for those extra special moments