” I like myself”!

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Recently, I ‘ve been discovering lots of things. I hit a low patch when both big toes got infected and ingrown. When the doctor took one look she hurried to her bag to write a prescription for antibiotics. The thought of taking them was depressing as I knew how they wreak havoc on my system. Also, they have a habit of putting me off my food and the prospect of losing weight from my already thinning body was turning me right off. So I spent the weekend with toes immersed in salt baths, taking homeopathy for infections and imagining healing energy was running through my feet. When the chiropodist came on the Monday she was happy enough with them and I didn’t have to take the antibiotics, yay! What a great feeling of accomplishment I had!
Then other changes started happening with my body which had me worrying after a year or more of practically no change. I noticed after sitting in my wheelchair for a few hours or more, my bum and shoulder blades were getting sore. This pain on my pressure points was a result of having no ‘padding’ on my bones, I was told, but nobody seemed able to advise me on this. It was only when we suggested an alternative cushion to sit on that they came up with the goods. Now I’m in bum heaven but the shoulder blades are not! Mum came up with a great idea of putting a layer of sheepskin between me and the chair and that’s really helped. But the physio noticed when I was doing my biweekly stand that the shoulder blades had actually moved inwards through lack of use. Well what d’ya know! Who would have thought these bastions to flight as I ‘ve often thought of them , could be affected by the constant sitting. I felt my wings were well and truly clipped.
Wayne Dyer says trust in your true nature. Kids too “know what to do” he tells us. If there’s one thing I’d like to pass on to mine, it would be to teach them to trust in their own nature; learning to listen to themselves in front of any decision big or small. So I’ve been trying to remember when they ask me for more screen time or another biscuit to say, “what do you think is the right thing to do”? and despite an obvious cheeky answer they usually know when enough is enough.
When all that anxiety was rattling through my mind about the toes and shoulder blades plus the concern about losing weight, I got a bit overly consumed by it. It was only after a while when I was less ‘consumed’ that I realised I had actually missed myself! I like myself and feeling joy would have always been a huge part of who I am. Getting to like yourself isn’t easy but learning to trust in your decisions and listening to your inner nature helps. I thought about how long I’d been on that path recently when my cousin asked me about my thirties and what I’d discovered in those years. I told her that I’d learnt to trust in my gut instincts. I knew when I met Jonnie in a popular bar in Cork on the eve of Valentines sixteen years ago, I’d discovered a gem! It felt right to be with him. So I went with that feeling.
Another thing important to me for the kids is their music education. This is something I can actually do thanks to the wonders of modern technology; I can bring up rock and roll masters like the great Jimi Hendrix on my eye gaze, or the fantastic King of reggae Bob Marley. Pop seems to have taken over the music world these days so I need them to know what’s what and who’s who! Its fabulous for me when they sit on my lap and listen to something together, divine time! Somebody wise I heard say recently said “do what excites you “. Music excites me, and I ‘m thrilled to be made aware of it again seeing as there’s so much I cant actually do.

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7 responses »

  1. What a beautiful post, Emma! I like you too! It’s so lovely to think of you listening to Jimmy Hendrix with the kids, nestling in sheepskin. Your post is so moving and funny and, as always, inspiring.

  2. Hi Emma!I Uplifting as always and thanks for that! You will never know how much you inspire me. Said a big prayer for you today to the black Madonna at Monserrat outside Barcelona. I ALWAYS look foward to reading your lovely & funny posts and I think you´re great! Btw, Marc and I really enjoyed the recent afternoon we all had at Lucy & Tomas´ watching the rugby! Joan

  3. Thank you Emma for yet more inspiration. I was particularly struck by your speaking of “missing yourself”. And liking yourself. Very few of even realise we have missed ourselves, so consumed as we are with the stuff of life. Nor do we give thanks enough for what we have and treasure every little bit. And you do have such treasures including your Mum and beautiful family. Frances

  4. So great to hear the ping in my inbox and see you there Gus. More often than not, I come away from kinsale knowing I didn’t give you a chance to answer any questions or tell me any news! Keep the blog coming and keep yourself healthy and happy. See you soon luv 😉💋

  5. Hi Em, so lovely to read your post as always. I get so much from it. Again you have inspired me and your little gems of advice are so helpful. You make me realise the important things and to slow down and just do them. I think I am so rushed sometimes that I don’t give my children time to make their own decisions and think about what they are doing. It is so good for them to follow their own gut instinct, rather than having mammy and daddy making every decision for them. Thank you so much for that advice, I will follow it through.
    I am sorry to hear about your toe infection and sore shoulder blades but delighted to hear you have solved it, in your proactive way. I meet so many people who just flounder around & expect others to come up with the solution for them. Not you Em! I love that you say you ‘like yourself’, that’s a reall ‘Emma’ thing to say, so positive. As someone once said “Happiness is: Looking in a mirror and like what you see.” Another great piece of advice for our children, focus on liking yourself rather than trying to get people to like you.
    Take care Em. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  6. Loved this post Emma! So many pearls of wisdom!
    So true that trusting ourselves is key to our health and happiness!
    Very pleased to hear that you were able to avoid antibiotics and that,thanks to the new cushion,your bum is happy!
    You and Jonnie are such amazing parents..that is wonderful that you are guiding them to trust their inner wisdom, the benefits are boundless! I too, think that music is a vital part of education and life.Nadia and I were talking recently about how important the arts are.. it’s part of being human…and that artistic expression and appreciation go beyond entertainment, they are an integral part of life… I know that is always how you have lived and continue to live your life…
    Love you,
    Love to all,
    Nick xooxoxoxoxoxox

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