Freak- heart


I was taken by ambulance Tuesday afternoon to Cork University Hospital with a heart racing at one hundred and seventy. That was before I was wheeled onto it. It has stayed normal between seventy and one hundred since then.
I’d been awake since half seven Tuesday morning with a heart thumping so fast I thought it would jump straight out of my chest. My doctor strongly recommended hospital and I shuddered at the thought.
Luckily Lucy and Tomas are back from France for a few months and are more than happy to stay with the kids. Jonnie stayed the two nights with me as I was released Thursday! They don’t know why my heart was racing and after countless scans and twenty four hour observation, they let me go as all is normal again thankfully.
Some nurses and doctors in the hospital don’t seem to know how to speak to me. They have a few different approaches;
1. They address Justine one of my carers instead of me.
2. They address me as if I’m retarded. [excuse non pc word, it’s anger talking]
3. They shout at me as if my ears have been affected too by my illness.
4. They address me with overwhelming pity saying “creatur”ie. you poor unfortunate darling. And they often do this silly looking wave goodbye like you might do to a child.
What I want is to be treated like a normal human being. I believe its my right. It’s such a horrendous illness and it’s hard enough to bear without being treated like some kind of freak.

8 responses »

  1. yeah its like irish tourists in foriegn countries DO YOOOOO HAVE BAYCON BAYCON ME FROM IRELAND IRELAND !regards and hello Scilly 59

    On Mon, Nov 17, 2014 at 5:21 PM, shapeshiftingemma wrote:

    > Shape Shifting Emma posted: “I was taken by ambulance Tuesday > afternoon to Cork University Hospital with a heart racing at one hundred > and seventy. That was before I was wheeled onto it. It has stayed normal > between seventy and one hundred since then. I’d been awake since half > seven”

  2. Hi Emma.

    Sorry to hear you were in hospital. 😦
    But good on you and so well said !
    They should talk to you as normal and take the time to look into your eyes for your response. I know its been a while but that worked for me and your answer and message was so clear.
    Pity….. Of course what you are going through must be hell but look what you are doing everyday living your life and writing this blog …..
    Brave doesn’t come near it.
    More like hero and amazing awe…
    Thinking of you lots
    Cal x

  3. Poor u but glad ur back home Emma. Oftentimes people just don’t have a clue how to treat people, we have to be patient with them. Most of the time their intentions are good. Seeing ur battle is difficult, no actually impossible, for most of us to understand. Love to u m’dear πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

  4. Might be no harm writing a letter to that effect Em, and sending to CUH. It’s important to give people feedback and perhaps it’ll guide nurses/doctors in the future. (I wouldn’t use something as politically incorrect as retarded – ‘spa’ is a much better option πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰!)
    Great to hear you’re home, massive shock to hear you were in hospital. Big love to you. Let me know when’s good to visit with thowl Spanish wan πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

  5. Hi Em, sorry to hear you’ve been in hospital and very glad to hear that you are back home again! The funny thing is through this wonderous blog we are always hearing your voice, and connecting with you and because you write so well it is really easy to hear you and your voice and this post is no exception.
    What you are saying really reminds me of when Dad (Old Dad) was older and staying close to us in Somerset, we used to get really infuriated with the carers looking after him for the same reasons! The way they talked to him was like he was impared somehow, when actually he was just a bit deaf and perhaps getting slower in his old age. We were always defending and challenging them on that front but as your friend Noreen says, some people just don’t have a clue πŸ™‚ They could learn alot from someone like you!
    Sending lots of love, Rach XXXX

  6. What an awful experience, but I am glad you are back home now. As for the ignorance of the staff at the hospital, they probably have little experience and are like this because they don’t understand your illness rather than being cruel, though perhaps a bit thoughtless. I am angry though, just reading it. Would you feel more empowered if you sent a letter to the staff and include your blog address? This way they will realise there is a person inside the body. Explain to them how this makes you feel and suggest how they can improve this. I have had some experience with this in relation to Felix, though it was totally different to you, but it was about not being heard. As you know, Felix was tube fed for nearly 4 years, long after the ‘crisis’ he had over feeding was passed, just because none of the people in charge of his health had a clue as to how to get him eating. I spent a long time doing my own research and suggested to them that he would not eat until he was hungry and if he was being fed (and indeed over fed!) with formula, there would never be an incentive to eat. I was treated as if I was mad. His dietician thought it was a really bad idea to reduce his feeds as he would lose weight and his developement would be affected (ignoring the fact of how badly his development had been affected by being attached to a feeding pump for up to 20 hours a day). His paeditrician was a little less negative but said that they didn’t know how to supervise such a transition and it could be dangerous. With further research, I found the German specialist who travels the world weaning tube dependent people and he successfully weaned Felix. I kept a blog. As a result of Felix’s experience and her own research prompted by this, his dietician is now a complete advocate of ‘Hunger Weaning’ children from feeding tubes who no longer need them medically, and is trying to educate all the dieticians (both hospital and community) to use this method, and she has successfully weaned several children over the last 18 months in her care. All because she was prepared finally to listen when she realised that actually, it made sense. What I am trying to say in my long winded way is that this could be something you could try and change through educating them!
    Thinking of you lots

  7. How frightening it must have been having your heart rate pounding away like that..I am so pleased that it resolved itself.. It is so disturbing to hear about your experiences with various members of the health care team.. I think writing a letter, as Lorna suggested, is a good idea. It is critical that nurses and doctors and all healthcare workers be reminded of assessing the whole person so they can take care of you in the best way possible and give you the sensitivity, respect and acknowledgement that everyone needs and has a right to.. write that letter Emma, it’s so important! If it is okay with you I would like to ask for this to be printed in my hospital’s newsletter. The newsletter is emailed to every employee and copies are also on each unit. Being treated with care , sensitivity and respect is your right and is a vital component of every encounter between a patient and a health care worker..actually it’s vital in every encounter we have..
    All my love,
    Nick oxoxoxoxooxoxoxo

  8. HI Emma.

    Great to see you yesterday.You looked beautiful and I found it hard to picture you ill in hospital only a few weeks ago. I bet you were proud of Kitty`’s and Rohans swimming ! I had to recap who you were to my little man on the way home in the car . ” Oh yeah he pipes up the sminky shorts lady ”
    He asked me to forward on a message for more funny captions like last years turkeys …… So I have ….
    Thinking of you lots Emma

    Cal x

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